At that time, as Jesus passed by, he saw a man blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be made manifest in him...I know there are Christians today who still feel as the Pharisees did at the time of this passage. When they see someone struck with an illness or even a difficult situation, they think the sin in the person's life must be the source of the unfortunate circumstances. In the Gospel reading, the Pharisees even went as far as blaming the sins of the blind man's parents, since he was born blind! How awful it must have been to be judged that way.
I only included a small part at the beginning of the Bible passage, but I encourage you to read it through verse 38. It really is a beautiful passage and I pray that the eyes of your understanding would be opened to its truth.
I have a very personal experience with this. Almost two and a half years ago, I was diagnosed with an illness that came right out of left field. Without going into the details of the disorder, I can tell you that it was excruciatingly hard to endure and was even difficult to see any hope of healing when I was in the midst of it. My first thought was, "What did I do to deserve this?" Other thoughts included, "Why me? Where did this come from? Why isn't my faith strong enough to conquer this? Where is God in all of this???"
Even the people closest to me tried to encourage me to "snap out of it" or "pray through it." I know their words came from a place of love and encouragement, but it was hard to hear. I felt judged. I felt like my faith had let me down. I had to live for over two weeks with this condition before I was able to get into a doctor that could help me. You know, God really is always with us. He never forsakes us. (Hebrews 13:5) It can definitely feel as if we have been forsaken when we are trudging through a difficult situation. But, I know that even when if feels like we are alone, He is always there. The poem Footprints reminds me of this truth in such a beautiful way.
The doctor I was able to see was truly sent by God into my life. He knew exactly what condition I was suffering from and was able to identify with my symptoms. He offered hope for a situation that seemed hopeless. He encouraged me and assured me that all would be well. Not without time and some work, but life would be sweet again.
Let me apologize at this point to any readers that may not know what my condition was. I'm not trying to be mysterious about it. I just don't think what was wrong is as important as why something like that would happen. Sitting in church on Sunday and hearing this passage of scripture was so encouraging for me. I remember when I decided that this illness was not going to be something that happened TO me, it was going to be something that happened THROUGH me. It was to be an opportunity for God to show me (yet again) how able He is and how faithful He is. I was tired of judging myself. This situation is something I would have never imagined in a million years that I would have to endure. It was so very against my nature and who I thought I was...
Today, I can't be more grateful for it! Two and a half years later, through faith, prayer, some hard work, and medical intervention from a great doctor, I am healed and whole. I am a better person than I was before this happened THROUGH me! :) The lessons I have learned have developed me into a more compassionate person. I see the world and it's people through a different set of eyes. I am slower to judge (although, I am working on trying not to be judgemental at all!). I was given to opportunity to sit in a very dark place for a while. Now, when I see others sitting in that place, I can share hope with them. I can share my experience with them. I can identify with the fear they feel. I can love them differently than I might have been able to in the past.
I could probably write a book about this. There are so many things I have learned. I guess the point of this blog entry is to encourage you to read the Gospel lesson from John 9. When a difficult situation finds its way into your life, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't let others judge you, either. I know I am my own worst critic. I judged myself pretty harshly and tried to blame myself for my "misfortune." Instead of judging, consider it pure joy! God is gettin' ready to show you something that will CHANGE YOU! Get ready for growth! Get ready for a faith-changing ride that will only draw you closer to Him! Remember, He will never let you go through anything you can't handle without His help! (I Cor 10:13)
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. - James 1:2-4
God allowed that particular situation to happen in my life. He knew it wouldn't overtake me. He knew He would be with me. He knew healing would be mine. The only thing God allowed me to decide was this: Would I trust Him and continue my journey with Jesus as my Lord and Savior? Would I keep my focus on His Word and the promises that It holds? Would I allow this situation to be bigger than my commitment to being His child and servant? I'll be honest. There were many dark days that I threw tantrums and held the biggest pity parties known to man for myself! Even in the midst of those moments, I knew in my heart that God was there. I knew He was going to provide a way for me. I wanted to learn the lesson. I wanted to develop perseverance.
Please don't get me wrong. This does not come from a place of pride or self-edification. It comes from the deepest place of humility in my heart. I know that I am not worthy to even speak of Christ. It is only because of His mercy and grace upon my life that I am breathing even now. This comes to you in a spirit of encouragement and love. GOD IS ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT CONCERNS YOU TODAY! I'm just a girl that was desperate enough to let Him do it through me. Now I have empathy, or what the Greeks would call "pono". When you have "pono" for someone, it means your heart connects with someone else's on a level where you can actually physically feel each other's heartaches and joys. There is a lot of comfort in having another person know what you're going through. I am another person that God can use for His glory in helping others.
Now I am working on allowing perseverance to finish it's work in me so that I may be mature and complete. This will be a process that will take my lifetime. I am grateful to God for His patience with me. I am also grateful to Him for the love He has surrounded me with in my family and friends. I see Jesus in each of you. Open yourselves up to His plan of healing and redemption. Let's be less judgemental of ourselves and others. Let's see trials for what they are...OPPORTUNITY!
If you are still reading this blog, God bless you! I know it's long winded, but please know that it's straight from my heart. Thank you for taking time to read my writings. I hope they bring as much joy and encouragement to you as they do for me. God be with each of you and I love you.
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